the only way to make rock 'n' roll uncool

So ok, obviously rock 'n' roll is in. It was extra in in the 90's, it was even in in the early 2000's when it was actually out because pop reigned supreme...but it was still in because it was so out. Now it's especially back in, not just because it's cool - or because it's uncool - but because it's also nostalgic. And "nostalgic-in" is arguably way weightier than "cool-in".

So, one could ask, how might rock 'n' roll - a cultural force so powerful that it's even in when it's out - ever be uncool? Oh gee, here's how:

Oh hey Forever21 - fuck you for making these rock 'n' roll graphic t's. I hate you for it. Like, I really, really hate you for it. Oh and yeah, Urban Outfitters...I fucking hate your guts too:

Urban, double fuck you for fucking with 60's & 70's rock. I hate that your Stones sweatshirt has fake vintage holes, and that your Dead shirt has fake faded tie dye on it. It's making fake rockers look like real rockers and it confuses me and makes me feel weird. Actually Urban, triple fuck you because in 2011 you released Nirvana t-shirts that and made stupid bloggers do stupid shit like this:

Ugh. I can't deal.
Bye.

a kiss from gawd

Twice a year for about one month, my favorite writer in the whole wide world gets to tweeting. She tweets things like:

Lots of hair gel going down in Paris, now at a less hectic Galliano. Checks, belted coats, more silver toecaps.

or...

 
Keep thinking Rei K was doing a punk Jane Eyre. 


That's right, Cathy Horyn tweets about fashion week in every city she attends - and there's nothing greater in life. So when she started up again this past week, after not a (runway-show-tweet) peep since October 5th 2011, I rejoiced and tweeted about it. AND GUESS WHAT??!! The queen herself retweeted me. SCREENSHOT:

Life is good and I hath been personally blessed by the NYTimes queen.

i'm gonna have Givenchy's Pre-Fall 2012 babies

Givenchy's Pre-Fall 2012 collection makes me weak in the knees and wet in the undies. 

Ugh, sorry. I couldn't not take it there:

Like, those textures are so good, they remind me why I looooove FALL. Not that I needed a reminder. And those colors?! I fall so hard for vivid neutrals. And the lookbook is shot randomly on the NYC sidewalks, with parked cars and street signs and joggers running by (sorry I had to crop most of that out). 

If I had millions of dollars and toothpicks for legs I'd buy the entire collection.

American Apparel Winter Coats BLOW

Jeeeeeez American Apparel - you know I feel affectionately toward you, but DAMN - your winter coats are not only horrendous, but embarrassingly overpriced...even for you.

I know AA is supposed to fill a "basics" niche but shit, there's a difference between basics and straight up boring. My suggestion to you, AA (not that anybody asked) is to stick to what you do best: v-necks, sheer things, and gloriously skanky models (who wants to be on the AA website and see these chicks covered up?!).

If you wanna take a closer look at these terrible, terrible coats (why you would, I don't know), click here.

Kbye.